


Eight words.

by LoverOfWriting



Series: Malec: What our eyes didn't see (Codas) [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda to ep 2x20, Fluff, Forgiveness, Love, M/M, Malec, Malec reunited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:33:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11894925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverOfWriting/pseuds/LoverOfWriting
Summary: Hi, loves! Here you are, a little coda to episode 2x20. Because we always need more Malec in our lives. I hope you enjoy!





	Eight words.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. Another coda. Ugh. I know I'm probably the last one in writing my pov about what happened the night that Malec got together again. 
> 
> So... If you guys are not bored of reading about it (which you probably are, given the tens of related fics already written; I haven't read any of them, btw), would you give it a try and tell me your opinion?
> 
> This one is especially dedicated to my dearest Karin (DutchMalec). Thanks for your constant support. All my best vibes go to you! <333

 

 

The sound in the "Hunter's Moon" was almost deafening, to Alec's well trained ears.

But who could complain. It was the sound of happiness. Of freedom. Of  mutual trust.

Watching all those Shadowhunters and Downwolders together. Sharing drinks, conversations, laughs.

It warmed a part of his heart that he wasn't even aware that was frozen.

Then, he spotted Magnus.

Well, actually, to say that he spotted Magnus was an understatement. He had had Magnus on sight the whole night.

He hadn't spoken to him yet, though. Alec had been busy, being the Head of New York Institute meant that everybody wanted to talk to him (oh, how much he hated small talk), to invite him to a drink (he made sure to have his bottle of beer to avoid new drinks), to simply stay with him.

This was a new feeling for Alec. Not being in the shadow anymore, not being looked frowned upon because he was a Lightwood spoiled brat, and a well-connected one, with Jace being a Herondale now.

He truly felt like the Head of the Institute now. And he was happy for all the attention he was getting.

But that wasn't the attention that he _needed._

He swam across the crowd towards Magnus.

The warlock was alone, which was highly unusual. Magnus was used to be the focus in every party. But he had kept to himself for the most part of the event.

Maybe, Alec thought, a tiny spark of hope kindling in his heart…

Maybe it was his way to call for Alec's company.

Or maybe he was reading too much into Magnus' behavior.

What the Hell, Alec decided. He had been about to lose Jace. He had still doubts about what had happened in that lake, because the parabatai rune couldn't just disappear like it did and then it appeared again, but that was a problem for another moment. Right now, his brother was talking to Clary, and Alec wouldn't disturb them for the world.

He went to the warlock, his mind set in clarifying things. Not so long ago, he had thought about Magnus as _his warlock_. Not because Magnus was a possession that Alec could trade, not because Magnus was owned (slavery had been abolished for good, and for good reasons), but because Magnus had called Alec _mine_ during one of the nights of passion, and so, it was fit that Alec called him _his_ too.

Not being Magnus' _his_ hurt too much.

And he had to tell him so.

Alec's hands twitched, as he walked out to that back alley, hearing Magnus behind him, the garish lights of a Chinese restaurant's back sign throwing a bit of color to his dark attire. His whole arms twitched, as they did when he came to give Magnus his heart in a silver plate, along with the knife that could rip it in pieces.

Magnus had never used that knife, except for the night of Max' attack.

The night when Alec felt that his world crumbled down. When his hopes of love vanished behind an elevator door.

He was nervous. What if he said the wrong thing again? What if Magnus wasn't willing to forgive him? To give him another chance? Just that morning the warlock had coldly called Alec _Shadowhunter_.

Alec knew how defending walls looked like. Since he was a child, he had built his own walls with bitter, sarcastic words and a perpetual frown. Training hard to be the warrior that the Shadowhunters society expected from him; studying hard to be the diplomat that his parents wanted him to be; caring hard to be the elder brother that his siblings needed his to be.

But with Magnus, he could be just Alec. Because Magnus, in contrast with the rest of Alec's world, didn't expect anything from him. Actually, he liked the real Alec.

That had been liberating, and refreshing, and Alec's eyes had opened to a universe that he had never dreamt of knowing.

Magnus himself had told him bits and pieces of his past. Enough for Alec to understand that his warlock's walls were made of sassiness, of drinks and jokes, of glitter and shiny clothes.

Alec had said that "relationships take effort". He didn't really reckon how much effort. The moment he had chosen to hide from Magnus the fact that the Clave didn't have the Soul Sword, he knew, he _knew_ , that nothing good would come up from that.

And he had been right. Magnus had felt betrayed and had chosen his own, smaller kernel of warlocks. And Alec had watched the sassy walls grow up in front of his eyes, built with new materials: coldness, detachment.

However, Alec hadn't built new walls. He was this new Alec. Still fighting hard the evil in the world, still dealing with other races to try and keep them all united, still caring for his siblings. But he didn't hide his true self anymore.

He didn't feel as if he had to. Thanks to Magnus.

He had to try, he thought, sighing. At least once again. He would give his heart to Magnus again on a silver plate. Along with a new knife.

 

*****

 

Magnus walked out of the bar, after Alec, his mind a turmoil of feelings and memories.

He had felt hurt, oh, so hurt, by Alec's betrayal. The only person in the world from whom he expected total candidness. Because Alec was honest to a painful fault. But he had lied to Magnus.

The warlock had closed his mind to Alec's explanatory words. That he wanted to protect Magnus, taking from him the need of lying to his own people, in order to keep the peace.  That it hadn't been personal. That it wasn't fair, Magnus leaving angrily without hearing Alec out.

He had closed his heart too. Only Cat and Madzie could pull a smile out of him those days.

Alec had been knocking as his door nonetheless. It reminded Magnus those first weeks of their relationship, when Alec had refused to acknowledge feeling anything for Magnus, but had constantly been looking for reasons related to his job to go to him. If only to see him, to hear Magnus' voice, to watch his smirk, his fluttering hands, his swaying hips.

Alec had never pushed Magnus, had never demanded anything for himself, had never tried to talk about them again. He had respected Magnus' decision even though it clearly was gnawing him from inside.

Alec's wet eyes still haunted Magnus' nights, since the day that the warlock had chose his people instead of love. He had begun to drink a huge amount of alcohol with the vain hope that its fumes would erase those huge, devastated eyes from his memory.

To no avail.

There wasn't a single thing that Magnus did that wasn't full of Alec's memory. Every spot on his loft. Every place in his usual route around the city. Every cell in his brain. Every pore of his skin.

That same day, when Alec called for his help to seal the rift, Magnus had to toughen himself up. He had used the word and tone that could hurt Alec the most: _Shadowhunter_. As if Alec wasn't but another annoying fighter from that hateful race.

Alec had stoically put up with it. The three of them (Magnus, Alec and Izzy) had gone to close that dreadful entrance and they had barely made up alive.

He had trusted Alec to protect him while he did his magic job, as Izzy had been momentarily knocked down. And when the demon had passed Alec's limits, the young warrior had warned Magnus, running to him, until the warlock felt it safe to turn around and burn that flying monstrosity. Leaving Alec, and a recovered Izzy, to destroy the lizard-like demons that came from it.

They had worked as a team.

It had felt good, even though Magnus had almost depleted his magic.

It had also felt good to have Alec's hands around his shoulders. Watching those amazing hazel eyes fixed at last on his, boring into his soul, worried about his health.

He had even allowed him to walk him home, since the warlock was too weak to create a portal.

They had separated then in an almost amiable silence.

Magnus couldn't pinpoint when it had exactly happened, but that had felt good too.

Not rejecting Alec anymore.

Not looking for reasons to hate Alec anymore.

 

*****

 

Alec saw Magnus coming to him, coming to a stop just a few inches away from him.

The warlock looked as gorgeous as ever, with that mesh shirt and that glossy jacket that fitted his body as a second skin. His makeup was on point, as usual, perfect eye shadow, eyeliner and eye mascara, light lip gloss, his cheeks slightly enhanced by a soft blusher.

But there was something un-Magnus in him. Something that Alec hated to see. Something that Alec had never expected to see. At least not because of him.

Magnus' shoulders were a bit slumped, his face closed, his gaze elusive. Even the little smile and lift of eyebrows that he threw at Alec seemed fake. He rubbed his fingers, as he did when he was nervous.

Alec noticed all of it.

And he realized.

Magnus was scared, Alec realized.

The High Warlock of Brooklyn wasn't scared of anything. He himself had said it, during their first morning together. He didn't have anything to lose, until he met this tall, dark, handsome, hard-to-get Shadowhunter. But Magnus had lost Alec. Therefore, what else did Magnus have to lose?

Therefore… why was Magnus scared?

Did he keep the tiniest of hopes, as Alec did? Did he want Alec back? Did he…?

Enough of doubts, Alec thought.

"Magnus," he began. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Magnus dismissed his words, but not unkindly.

"No, I should've told you about the Soul Sword…"

"It's in the past." Magnus cut him short, clearly expecting to forget those hurtful moments.

He hugged himself, as if trying to protect himself for whatever words could come now from Alec's mouth, lowering his gaze, hunching his shoulders a bit more, if possible.

Alec stared at him, at his sheer pain, and nodded to himself.

 _In the past_ could mean that Magnus wanted to fix things. Or to move on.

Anyway, Alec had to tell him.

"Magnus, ever since our fight…"

Magnus flinched at the memory, glancing briefly away from his former boyfriend, but that didn't stop the younger man.

"… I can't… I can't think straight." He stuttered, his hand touching repeatedly his forehead, as if his thoughts would flight away from his mind.

Magnus shook his head so slightly. His next words came out from his lips as if by their own will, his fleeting gaze still unable to fix on Alec's open face.

"Well, I can't do anything without… thinking of you."

Alec's heart did a couple of somersaults inside his ribcage, but he, always the stoic soldier and polite diplomat, tried to refrain his galloping hope. He only stepped forward a bit, incapable of being so far away from the man he loved, but still keeping the distance so that Magnus wouldn't feel his personal space invaded. Alec didn't want to pressure him by his height or proximity.

But he had to tell him.

"Magnus, I…" He, the stoic soldier, the polite diplomat, blinked back unneeded tears. "I don't  think I can live without you."

Just like that. Simple, matter-of-facts words. His heart in a eight-word sentence. Given to Magnus, as the only gift he could ever present to the powerful warlock. Because Alec had nothing in matter of richness, he knew nothing about wines, or paintings, or that mundane history that Magnus loved so much.

He only had one thing that possessed any value.

And that, he was willing to give it to Magnus. No matter what the warlock would do with it.

He had had to tell him.

 

*****

 

Magnus stared, now he did, at Alec for a couple of seconds. He didn't know what he was expecting to hear. Another _I love you_. Maybe some begging, though Alec wasn't the begging type. Maybe some _It was good to work with you but, now that there's no danger from Valentine, it would be better that we wouldn't see each other again_ …

But here there was, this enormously tall man, strong, smart, loyal to a fault, the fiercest of soldiers and the worst diplomat he had ever known because of his transparent eyes and his honest heart; there he was, baring his soul in the purest of ways.

Shaking a little his head to emphasize his words. Exactly as he did when he was about to declare his deeply care for _this_ warlock.

Magnus felt his carefully new built walls vanishing at once.

He felt as if a light was cast over his until now clouded, hurt, closed mind.

It had only taken eight words.

He breathed deeply before answering, knowing that his next words would define his, _their_ , future.

"I thought I had to choose between you and the Downworld…" He said, his voice low and careful, his arms still around his chest. "But I don't." He had finally understood, and it was as if a heavy chain had been lifted from around his constricted heart.

Alec looked at him with that appealing intensity of his, hope and heart pouring through his eyes. Drinking from Magnus' words.

"A wise man once told me," Magnus barely could hide the smile that began to form dimples on his cheeks, " _relationships take effort."_. He even tried to imitate Alec's tone when he said the sentence that had changed their lives.

Alec scoffed, smiling at his own words, smiling at the thought that Magnus could find him wise, smiling at the sight of Magnus' smiling at him.

"Yeah", he said. "Well, that was an understatement." He stated, remembering how easy things had been, compared with all that they had been through lately.

Magnus chuckled then, and it was the most beautiful view that Alec had even seen.

He looked even a bit bashful, smiling like a happy teenager. Alec had never found him more endearing. He could just look at him, at this happy Magnus.

At his happy Magnus.

And it had only taken him eight words.

And a world of patience and love.

"You know what's not an understatement?" Magnus couldn't stop smiling now, as he got closer to Alec.

He wasn't hugging himself anymore. In fact, his hand seemed to wave in search of their living selves.

Alec stepped forward again, more confident now. He set a careful hand on the other man's arm, his eyes never apart from Magnus' glowing ones.

And they kissed.

They kissed softly, as if it was their first kiss. As if they were testing the waters of their hazed relationship.

Alec squeezed a bit his warlock's arm. Magnus's free hand made his way up his Shadowhunter's arm, the touch sweet and comforting, as it had always been.

Alec basked in the little sigh that Magnus used to let out after a especially tender kiss. This time wasn't different.

"I'm… all into parties, but…" Magnus declared, his face playful and cheerful. "What do you say we get out of here?" He asked in a low tone.

"Yes." Alec nodded, incapable of saying anything else, his heart galloping wild inside his ribcage.

A heart full of joy can tie your tongue. But a _yes_ would be enough.

The headed out of the alley, arms surrounding each other's back, lips stretched in wide smiles, souls floating in a sea of confident optimism.

Those waters looked clear now.

Cleansed by eight words.

 

*****

 

The loft came alive as soon as Magnus opened its entrance door up.

They didn't need to say where they wanted to go. They both knew it.

They wanted to go home.

Home was the place where you held your most valuable possessions. Your books. Your trinkets, more of less expensive, acquired along the years. Your memories.

Alec had already read most of the books at the Institute's library, but the books he had found in Magnus' were completely different. They didn't speak of war or the Shadow World. They spoke of art, of science, of music, of freethinking.

They spoke of a whole new world. And Alec loved it.

As much as he loved the owner of the books. The owner of the trinkets (more or less expensive). The owner of his memories.

Because that's how he thought of Magnus. The owner of Alec's home.

After so many days feeling the loft as a strange place, as strange as Magnus' cold heart, Alec watched it under a new light.

It was as if the books whispered _hello_ to him. As if the statues and paintings smiled at him. As if the ancient Japanese vase, bought during their first trip to Tokyo, were whispering tender remembrances. As if the memories, good or bad, flooded him at once.

Nonsense at the eyes of an expert warrior, he knew. But he felt as if the whole apartment welcomed him back.

Or it might be Magnus' splendid, wide grin, welcoming him back to his now warm heart.

"Shall we proceed to the balcony?" The warlock asked with a flourish of his hand. "I know it's cold in this time of the year… but I promise I can keep you warm." He added with a playful wink.

Alec smiled widely.

"I'm sure of that. But… could we stay inside?" He asked with caution.

The balcony was full of good memories. The ugly ones were inside, on that living-room that saw them fight and built those new protective inner walls. That was the place where Alec wanted to begin creating fresh, good memories.

"Of course, Alexander. I just thought… Doesn't matter." He discarded his thought with another wave of the hand. He had thought of the place where they had spent so many intimate moments. But if Alec wanted to stay inside, he would have good reasons, and Magnus would trust him. "Anything to drink? Another beer, maybe?"

Alec nodded, following him to the wet bar.

Magnus wasn't much of a beer drinker, but he had always had Alec's favorite brand. As he opened the fridge under the drinking bar, the Shadowhunter saw that it was still stocked with bottles, along with Cat's selected brand ones.

Magnus hadn't gotten rid of them, even though he didn't have any reason to believe that Alec would be back to his life. For some reason, Alec's heart clenched, and then expanded, feeling his love for the warlock grow even more, if possible.

"Here you…" Magnus was handing him the bottle, when Alec grabbed him by the waist and kissed him hard.

The older man melted into the kiss, trying blindly to set the bottle on the counter so he could hold Alec with both arms.

It had been too long since Alec had held him like this.

The bottle ended crashing up on the floor, splashing shoes and trousers, but neither of the two men realized, floating in their own bubble of reconciliation.

They parted, at last, panting and smiling, still holding to each other, still bathing in each other's body heat.

"I guess you'll need another beer." The warlock chuckled.

Alec looked down at the mess at their feet.

"Oh, shit!" He disentangled himself from Magnus' arms and crouched down, opening drawers and cabinet doors, searching for some cleaning cloth.

Magnus watched him with amused fondness.

"You know that I have magic for that, don't you?"

Alec looked up, smiling slowly at the memory of the first time that Magnus told him that, and stood up.

With a flicker of his hand, Magnus cleaned all the spilled beer and crushed glass, and Alec found himself with a new bottle in his hand.

"Since we are staying indoors, would you mind if I get more comfortable?" Magnus winked at him.

Alec pursed his lips, nodded and shook his head at the same time. The warlock looked at him amusedly, expectantly.

"Anything you want to say, Alexander?"

Alec shrugged.

"Nothing. It's just… that shirt really looks good on you…"

Magnus pressed his lips tight to prevent his laugh to run free, lest Alec thought he was laughing at him.

His beloved Alexander. Never having qualms to ask anything for other people, always finding it difficult to ask anything for himself.

Magnus shrugged his jacket off and made it vanish to his walk-in closet.

"Then I'd better keep it on for a while, don't you think so?" He sashayed closer to Alec.

Alec swallowed hard. The mesh shirt was really see-through, despite of its rich embroidery. Magnus' skin shone gold in it.

And he had been without that golden skin for too long.

"All good?" Magnus asked, magicking himself one of his preferred cocktails. He loved to check that he still had _that_ effect on Alec.

Alec sat down of the couch, grabbing his beer tight, in fear of ripping that tempting shirt if his hands weren't busy with anything.

 It wasn't the same on which he had slept, the night when he helped Magnus to heal Luke. The night when he unlocked something in Magnus. The night when Magnus' loft began to feel something different than some warlock's lair. The night when he began trusting Magnus.

The night when he began feeling something for Magnus.

They had broken that couch in a passionate bout, he remembered, sensing the blush covering his face.

Magnus sat next to him, legs under his bottom, light as a feather, though Alec well knew that his body was compact and well ripped. His eyes never left Alec's face.

Alec fidgeted with the label on the bottle, almost peeling it from the glass surface. He wanted to say so many things. But as usual, words seemed to fly from his mouth. He set the beer on the floor and rubbed his hands.

Magnus lifted a hand and touched Alec's hair, at the temples. Alec glanced shyly at him, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Magnus' fingers advanced a bit more, burying themselves in the wildness that was Alec's hair, mussed by his owner's nervous tousling.

Alec closed his eyes in bliss.

Magnus' dexterous fingers, caressing his scalp, soothing his worries with calm, soft movements in his hair… Alec hadn't been aware of how much he had missed those little details.

"What's worrying you, Shadowhunter?" Magnus inquired, his fingers still drawing delicate circles on Alec's head.

Alec jumped a bit at the word. The last time that Magnus had used it, it had been with resentment and disdain. It had only been that morning, but for Alec it seemed to have happened an eon ago.

But now Magnus had uttered it the way he used before. With his softest, most caring voice.

Alec turned to him on the couch.

"I'm scared of saying or doing something that screws everything up again." He whispered, looking fixedly at the warlock. "I'm scared of hurting you again. Of losing you again."

Magnus sighed, and let his hand go down Alec's jaw until he cupped his chin.

"As I'm scared of bolting at the first sign of doubt about you, without letting you explain. I'm scared of allowing my past overlap on my present. Of driving you away again."

Alec set one of his big hands over the one Magnus had on his chin, his hazel eyes speaking the words that his pink lips deny to say.

"But I won't." Magnus stated, his voice low and firm, his warm brown eyes boring into Alec's. "I won't mistrust you again, because I know you won't lie to me again. I won't let my past bad memories erase the good ones that I am creating with you. I won't let you go again, unless you want to go."

"I won't." Alec affirmed, sure and gentle, his green-hazel eyes glinting as he looked into Magnus' soul. "I'll strive not to hurt you again, by words or actions. I will always rely on you, because I trust you. And now I know why I trust you. Because there has never been a man with a bigger heart."

"I'm not actually a man…" Magnus laughed softly, trying to hide his flushed countenance.

"Demon blood or not, you are the best man I've ever known, Magnus." Alec cut him fiercely, holding his free hand. "Forgive me if I don't tell you enough times." Alec pressed his boyfriend's hand to his own face with more strength. "Forgive me if sometimes I take you for granted. Forgive me if…"

"Shhh!" Magnus stopped him with a kiss. "I could apologize too. For not remembering that this is your first relationship. For not remembering that you have the Clave looking over your shoulders, and how hard it is to find a balance between two extremes. For not remembering that you too want to save the world." He smiled at Alec, whose face had turned a lovely shade of red now. "But let's stop here, ok? Let's pick all the pieces of our walls and built something new."

Alec stared at him in awe. But of course, Magnus knew about his walls. He blinked, at loss of words.

"Let's lay the foundation for our new home." Magnus suggested, grinning. He hooked his arms around his boyfriend's neck. "One where only trust and love is allowed to dwell. One where Jace won't have a guest room anymore!" He winkled merrily.

Alec chuckled at that.

"I don't care where or how." He kissed one of Magnus' ringed hands, and looked him right in the eyes. "My home is not a place. My home is you."

The warlock stared at him, his eyes dangerously shiny. He swallowed back some unexpected tears.

"Well.." He said airily, as soon as he thought safe to speak. "I guess that I'll have to get used to share my sheets again. And my coffee. And my heart. Am I being too fluffy?". Magnus pouted in mocking hesitation.

Alec laughed, freely, happily.

"Don't ever tell anybody that I'm saying this," he pulled Magnus to his chest, his smile brighter than any lamp that Magnus could imagine, "but I love that fluffy side of yours."

"Do you now?" Magnus arched an eyebrow, lifting his chin to reach his boyfriend's lips.

Alec hummed his _yes_ against the warlock's mouth.

"What other sides of me do you like?" Magnus licked the Shadowhunter's lips very lightly, his hands pulling the plain black t-shirt upwards.

"This one." Alec kissed his way towards Magnus' neck. "The cheeky one."

"Oh, now I am cheeky?"

With a strong pull, the t-shirt went over Alec's head, leaving his hair even more tousled. The younger man didn't care, too busy nipping at Magnus' earlobe.

The warlock whined in pleasure.

"This one." Alec muttered. "The lustful one."

"Oh, now I am… ?" Magnus couldn't finish the sentence because his boyfriend kissed him hungrily.

"Magnus…." Alec said at last, as the older man led him by the hand towards the bedroom. "Are you sure?"

The warlock turned towards him, the only light in the loft now coming from the night stand, a dim red bulb in the lamp giving them a magical shine.

"If I am sure of loving you?" Magnus tilted his head and smiled softly. "I never stopped loving you, Alexander. And now that I've tried and failed… I know that I can't live without you."

Alec stepped into his open arms and held him tight. He wouldn't let him go again, of that, he was sure.

It hadn't been easy. It wouldn't be easy. But they would manage. Together.

Thanks to those eight words.

 

 


End file.
